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Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

Currently viewing quotes 0 - 19 of 19 by Rodney Dangerfield

This collection of Rodney Dangerfield quotes is arranged by popularity as voted by our users for your enjoyment. If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out others from famous comedians!
"I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."
-Rodney Dangerfield in Funny quotes.
Like 274 Dislike 6
"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."
-Rodney Dangerfield
Like 229 Dislike 4
"I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people."
-Rodney Dangerfield
Like 221 Dislike 0
"I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out."
-Rodney Dangerfield in Sports quotes.
Like 210 Dislike 2
"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them."
-Rodney Dangerfield
Like 192 Dislike 0
"My mother had morning sickness after I was born."
-Rodney Dangerfield
Like 185 Dislike 0
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
-Rodney Dangerfield
Like 164 Dislike 1
"My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive."
-Rodney Dangerfield
Like 152 Dislike 0
"My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light."
-Rodney Dangerfield
Like 149 Dislike 9
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
-Rodney Dangerfield
Like 136 Dislike 2
"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was."
-Rodney Dangerfield
Like 128 Dislike 0
"My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it."
-Rodney Dangerfield
Like 121 Dislike 2
"Life is just a bowl of pits."
-Rodney Dangerfield in Life quotes.
Like 110 Dislike 3
"Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'"
-Rodney Dangerfield
Like 102 Dislike 0
"A girl phoned me the other day and said 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home."
-Rodney Dangerfield
Like 94 Dislike 2
"When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, Look ... twins!"
-Rodney Dangerfield
Like 91 Dislike 2
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
-Rodney Dangerfield
Like 86 Dislike 1
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