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Robert Benchley Quotes

Currently viewing quotes 0 - 18 of 18 by Robert Benchley

This collection of Robert Benchley quotes is arranged by popularity as voted by our users for your enjoyment. If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out others from famous comedians!
"Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony."
-Robert Benchley in Drinking quotes.
Like 247 Dislike 5
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
-Robert Benchley in Dogs quotes.
Like 246 Dislike 2
"Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment."
-Robert Benchley in Work quotes.
Like 227 Dislike 22
"It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous."
-Robert Benchley in Writing quotes.
Like 223 Dislike 2
"The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success."
-Robert Benchley
Like 208 Dislike 0
"In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children."
-Robert Benchley in Travel quotes.
Like 200 Dislike 2
"Streets full of water; please advise."
-Robert Benchley
Like 198 Dislike 3
"There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't."
-Robert Benchley
Like 189 Dislike 3
"An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens."
-Robert Benchley
Like 185 Dislike 5
"Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing."
-Robert Benchley
Like 181 Dislike 0
"Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people."
-Robert Benchley in Humor quotes.
Like 174 Dislike 11
"Tell us your phobias, and we will tell you what you are afraid of."
-Robert Benchley
Like 156 Dislike 9
"The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
-Robert Benchley in Quotations quotes.
Like 147 Dislike 2
"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down."
-Robert Benchley in Pets quotes.
Like 140 Dislike 2
"The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled."
-Robert Benchley
Like 133 Dislike 0
"I can't seem to bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's that I can't guess I'll toddle."
-Robert Benchley
Like 93 Dislike 0
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