Ogden Nash Quotes

"Sometimes with secret pride I sigh, To think how tolerant am I; Then wonder which is really mine: Tolerance, or a rubber spine?"
-Ogden Nash

"Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else."
-Ogden Nash in Age quotes.

"Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore."
-Ogden Nash in Parents quotes.

"I drink because she nags, he said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew."
-Ogden Nash

"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of."
-Ogden Nash in Pets quotes.

"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up."
-Ogden Nash in Work quotes.

"The turtle lives 'twixt plated decksWhich practically conceal its sex.I think it clever of the turtleIn such a fix to be so fertile."
-Ogden Nash

"Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for."
-Ogden Nash

"People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it."
-Ogden Nash

"Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you."
-Ogden Nash in Funny quotes.

"Do you think my mind is maturing late,Or simply rotted early?"
-Ogden Nash

"Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny -Did you ever try buying them without money?"
-Ogden Nash

"The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late."
-Ogden Nash in Bed quotes.

"He without benefit of scruples His fun and money soon quadruples."
-Ogden Nash

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them."
-Ogden Nash

"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. "
-Ogden Nash

"Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long."
-Ogden Nash in Progress quotes.

"CandyIs dandyBut liquorIs quicker."
-Ogden Nash

"When there are monsters there are miracles."
-Ogden Nash

"The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie!"
-Ogden Nash

"Nietsche is Pietsche.'"
-Ogden Nash

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