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Milton Berle Quotes

Currently viewing quotes 0 - 12 of 12 by Milton Berle

This collection of Milton Berle quotes is arranged by popularity as voted by our users for your enjoyment. If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out others from famous comedians!
"You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think."
-Milton Berle
Like 162 Dislike 14
"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"
-Milton Berle
Like 128 Dislike 0
"The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring."
-Milton Berle
Like 118 Dislike 8
"Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies."
-Milton Berle
Like 117 Dislike 0
"Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient."
-Milton Berle
Like 116 Dislike 5
"Committee--a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours."
-Milton Berle
Like 115 Dislike 0
"I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?"
-Milton Berle
Like 107 Dislike 0
"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
-Milton Berle
Like 103 Dislike 0
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
-Milton Berle
Like 100 Dislike 0
"Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name."
-Milton Berle
Like 75 Dislike 0
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