Lewis Black Quotes

"And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to yea' - but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye."
-Lewis Black

"I'm just so looking forward to seeing Dick Cheney because it's like the sighting of a rare white elk when he shows up. And I don't even think it's Dick Cheney anymore. We see him so rarely ... that I think he may be my old shop teacher."
-Lewis Black

"A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!!'"
-Lewis Black in Politics quotes.

"These ballot initiatives remind us that America is the land where people are free to dream whatever they want, so long as that dream doesn't make Midwesterners feel icky!"
-Lewis Black

"There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice."
-Lewis Black

"'It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap – FIX IT!!!'"
-Lewis Black

"Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas."
-Lewis Black

"If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. That's why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat."
-Lewis Black