Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

"My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing."
-Jeff Foxworthy in Ignorance quotes.

"I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did."
-Jeff Foxworthy in Funny quotes.

"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
-Jeff Foxworthy

"[Watching a baby being born] is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door."
-Jeff Foxworthy

"Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?"
-Jeff Foxworthy

"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother -- you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it."
-Jeff Foxworthy

"These disasters made people think about local needs as never before. We had people stop at our office because their children wanted to help feed someone."
-Jeff Foxworthy

"You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education."
-Jeff Foxworthy

"There's a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy."
-Jeff Foxworthy

"You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not "professional" any more."
-Jeff Foxworthy