Login or register!
Loading ...

David Sedaris Quotes

Currently viewing quotes 1 - 11 of 11 by David Sedaris

famerank 10

This collection of David Sedaris quotes is arranged by popularity as voted by our users for your enjoyment. If you enjoy these quotes, be sure to check out others from famous writers!
"Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it."
-David Sedaris in Writing quotes.
"I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer."
-David Sedaris
"Why refer to Lady Crack Pipe or Good Sir Dishrag when these things could never live up to all that their sex implied."
-David Sedaris
"At first, writing for The New Yorker was very scary to me. I couldn't imagine anything that I would write in that typeface."
-David Sedaris
"Maybe I'll learn a trade. I've considered taxidermy. I always thought it was a shame you couldn't do that on people."
-David Sedaris
"Shit is the tofu of cursing."
-David Sedaris in Funny quotes.
"Anyone who watches even the slightest amount of TV is familiar with the scene: An agent knocks on the door of some seemingly ordinary home or office. The door opens, and the person holding the knob is asked to identify himself. The agent then says, "I'm going to ask you to come with me.""
-David Sedaris
"Seven beers followed by two Scotches and a thimble of marijuana and it's funny how sleep comes all on it's own."
-David Sedaris
"My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for who I am. Concentrate too hard on the millions of people who hate you for what you are and you're likely to turn into one of those unkempt, sloppy dressers who sag beneath the weight of the two hundred political buttons they wear pinned to their coats and knapsacks."
-David Sedaris
" [I] recall thinking that the computer would never advance much further than this. Call me nave, but I seemed to have underestimated the universal desire to sit in a hard plastic chair and stare at a screen until your eyes cross."
-David Sedaris in Computers quotes.
"I'm just a big liar."
-David Sedaris
David Segal >>>
<<< David Sears