David Letterman Quotes

"New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you."
-David Letterman in Civilization quotes.

"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."
-David Letterman in Birds quotes.

"Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water."
-David Letterman in Travel quotes.

"The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves."
-David Letterman

"People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine."
-David Letterman in Funny quotes.

"There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting."
-David Letterman in Business quotes.

"New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move."
-David Letterman

"Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines."
-David Letterman

"Overall Bush's European trip has been an overwhelming success. Not once has he gotten separated from his group."
-David Letterman

"Aren't used to rat-free outfield."
-David Letterman

"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either."
-David Letterman

"Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving."
-David Letterman

"I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious."
-David Letterman

"Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television."
-David Letterman