Dave Attell Quotes

"Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people "the cops." But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!"
-Dave Attell

"You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike."
-Dave Attell

"What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish, ... You know what you should do? Combine them ... eat a penguin."
-Dave Attell

"There's a late-night scene in every town, and everyone has something going on, ... I've heard good stories about (Syracuse); this is a very good party town, a good drinking place. I definitely would like to come back and check it out further. Do some more research, as I call it."
-Dave Attell