Dane Cook Quotes

"[An example: People want to be remembered for great things, such as contributing to humanity, he says. Not him.] I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50."
-Dane Cook

"Whatever you need. I'm here for you."
-Dane Cook

"I have to say I'm a massive fan of yours."
-Dane Cook

"I would still have old ladies come up to me after the show and pat me on the cheek after I had said all this vulgar stuff, ... They would be like, 'Oh you're a silly boy - we know you're just playing.'"
-Dane Cook

"I had a male stalker in L.A.,"
-Dane Cook

"One night after a show he gave me a gift. When I opened up the bag, he had made out of clay and dried macaroni a model of the universe with the planets and everything. Then in the middle of the model was an action figure with my face on it. I was the center of his universe."
-Dane Cook

"When Napster first hit, I had a Web site at the time, so I said, 'I'm going to take 20 clips from my first CD and I'll put them under comedy and jokes, and see what happens,'."
-Dane Cook

"I think there's a definite template for what can be done for the future, but I'm not going to call myself a trailblazer. It didn't seem like a big idea to me: Let people know you appreciate their loyalty, and you say thank you. I was just doing what those punk bands did with fliers. Stand on the corner and say 'Come check us out.' Instead of fliers, it was going to be instant messages and e-mails."
-Dane Cook