Craig Kilborn Quotes

"President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up."
-Craig Kilborn

"In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series."
-Craig Kilborn

"George W. Bush even stopped in Pennsylvania to try his hand at the lotto and gave up when he could only think of the numbers 4 and 17."
-Craig Kilborn

"Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a do's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman."
-Craig Kilborn

"Clinton said he feels safe in Harlem. It's the only place in the state Hillary is scared to look for him after dark."
-Craig Kilborn

"Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down."
-Craig Kilborn

"John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle."
-Craig Kilborn